On Sunday, I was telling {not bragging, okay? just telling} a couple of friends that I haven't gotten allergies at all the past couple of years, even though I used to be allergic to every single season change in Provo. Aaaand then Monday came, along with the sneezy hazy eye watery bleary allergies I love so much. I was sneezing alldaylong, and it hasn't exactly gone away, so I ended up on the coach for 85% of today, mindlessly staring off into space and watching hours of the Forsythe Saga, which is still full of drama and scandal but is significantly more worthwhile than America's Next Top Model. Just sayin'. And also, it's British. But no, this post isn't about another tv show, as much as you'd like it to be. I just got to thinking that I'm probably going to have to suck it up tomorrow and be an adult and go to class and teach even though I'm currently a sniveling fool....
...that was last night, and this is today. And yes, I came to campus today to be a productive student and instructor. But all this is beside the point. Well, somewhat. I will tie it in to today's post, you'll see!
Okay, so as I was reading the culture shock article, I realized that the wide variety of culture shock symptoms makes it really hard to recognize if you're not aware of the potential problems. I had quite the revelatory moment as I was reading the article: I know exactly why the first few months of my mission were so difficult. I've always thought that my first few months were so hard because I didn't get along well with my trainer! Well, I realized how much culture shock spoiled our relationship. In fact, I might go as far as to say that almost every single problem I experience as a new missionary was tied back to culture shock. And because of culture shock, it magnified so many of the problems that might not have been a big issue without the addition of learning the Uruguayan culture. Most of the magnified problems, sadly, tied back to my companion. So many things she did drove me BONKERS, and I can see now how much of the tension in our relationship could have been avoided had I known to deal with culture shock (or had I even known that it was a problem. Giving a name to my troubles would have helped in and of itself.)
It's been a few years now, but I can still remember how frustrating it was for me to adjust to the language; my speaking skills were probably better than average, due to a little more experience with the Spanish language than other new gringo missionaries, but I had the HARDEST time understanding the people. I would get so tired in lessons because I couldn't understand half of what our investigators were saying, so I felt like I lived in a bubble, and that contributed to the already huge adjustment of missionary work and missionary life--I would definitely have a hard time staying awake. I would get so MAD at my companion for the smallest things: she was very chatty with investigators, and after having lessons (in which I could understand more), she would sit and chat with them for the looooongest time. When I would talk to her about it, I attributed it to the fact that our district and zone leaders had been emphasizing the importance of using time wisely as a missionary, and sitting there for 45 minutes talking after a lesson seemed like such a waste of time. And maybe it was, to a degree. The biggest frustration, though, was that I couldn't understand most of what was going on in our after-lesson discussions. Because of that, I was more disconnected with the people and thus had little to no desire to sit and chat. I was really frustrated that I didn't know Spanish as well as I thought I did, so I really wanted to teach more in lessons and get as much experience as I could. Problem is, my companion wouldn't really give me much time in lessons to teach. She would teach the whole thing and turn to me at the end for me to add a few lines of testimony. I know that she was probably thinking of me, and thinking that because I was insecure I wouldn't want to talk in lessons. This would have been an easy barrier to overcome, but my frustrations tied back to the language and culture made me more irritable than usual. When I got to Uruguay, it was summer, so that was simply delightful (note a slight edge of sarcasm). I was frustrated because we didn't have air conditioning, so I didn't sleep as well at night. I insisted we sleep with the fan on even though my companion insisted that our power bill would be so much more expensive if we left the ceiling fan on all night long. She said we should just sleep with the window open, and the first night I agreed and we slept with it open, but the problem was this: when I woke up in the morning I was absolutely covered in bug bites; the whole night I was plagued by little buzzing and freaked out when bugs flew into my ears or in my face or... just gross. I was so irritable that I insisted on having my way and sleeping with the window shut and the fan on.
Without giving you an entire list of my grievances, I will just say that many of these problems would have been less of a big deal had I understood that I was experiencing culture shock, and taken the steps to deal with it directly. As it was, once I was with another companion I started seeing how wonderful missionary work could be, and thought my change of attitude was again directly tied back to my companion. True, yes, I did get along with her much more, but at the same time, I could tell I was getting more used to the culture. I was a little more confident with the language, and amazed that I was able to sufficiently show my companion around our area without mishap. As I got more used to the culture, the initial culture shock wore off, and I feel like eventually I was able to advance to biculturalism--if not completely, than to a much greater degree. I loved the culture and felt that I could understand more of the people's motivations and values.
Also, as I was reading the culture shock article I got to thinking that the MTC could probably do a much better job of preparing missionaries for experiencing culture shock. Because the adjustment from regular to missionary life is already a huge transition, and with the added stress of culture shock, it can be traumatic for a lot of missionaries. A lot of missionaries develop depression or other health problems on their missions, and I have to wonder how much of that is tied to not coping with culture shock.
So here's where I tie it into the beginning of my post. Because culture shock is a real problem, just as allergies or any other sickness is, it can have a real effect on our desires to get out of bed in the morning and actually work or go to school or be a missionary. Much of the time, and especially with culture shock, the best thing to do is get out of the house, stop feeling sorry for oneself and dwelling on the issue, and go to work.
The end.
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